Hey, My name is Amber Beall and this is my story. I am currently a Junior at East Carolina University in North Carolina but my walk with the Lord started the summer before my senior year of High School. I wouldn't say I grew up in church, but staggered in every so often with my grandparents and aunt. Like most teenagers who may be close with their parents, I often desired to make my parents proud. Which by the way, is good to want, however I based every decision on this. When I made them proud I was extremely happy and when I felt I disappointed them I would be devastated. The thing they would verbally be proud of was grades in school and knew that was the best way for me to please. With that mind set, everything else that I slightly messed up in or did wrong I felt as though my parents were disappointed in me. Depending on what it was, my parents were usually just mad not disappointed."I'm just mad, I'm not disappointed", may sound a little backwards but that's what went through my mind. Often, I was my own worst critic and compared myself to my older sister.

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One night, in sophomore year of High school, I remember that I couldn't meet these non-existent but mind made expectations of myself and felt worthless. I told myself that all I was good at was grades, which are temporary and after that I am a waste of space. If  I left this world, no one would fight with my brother, yell at mom, be in the way, or compare to my sister. That night, I cried myself to sleep with a mere moment of suicide on the mind. I woke to start that day a new, however, if you have ever felt or thought about suicide then you know its daunting feeling no matter how deep. (No matter what, know you are not worthless and have a purpose.) Time, with familiar patterns, continued.

Till......

The summer before my senior year, I woke to a phone call that my friend had just suddenly past away. Furious and confused at God, I became selfish in my thoughts as days went by. The Sunday following the passing, I went to church still upset with God. My aunt and her family were with me as the pastor motioned an alter call. They all went up and I thought to go up with them to pray for them. Little did I know that God showed me that I had no security in where I was going after I left this world. Right then and there, I accepted Christ as my personal Savior!! I rose from the floor and all I could say is THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

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The following morning, my aunt hands me a bible and said its important to read this, as I left home to a non-spiritual family. I thought me and God were good and left it at that. Soon I began to see my thought process change, where did God want me to go to college and do? I still was in the making my parents proud business and chose a 4-year college to become a Pediatrician to compete with my military sister that I felt otherwise wouldn't make my parents proud. Soon after I arrived at ECU, God introduced me to a freshmen bible study with Campus Crusade for Christ or know as CRU, a campus ministry.  And ever since my walk with the Lord has sky-rocketed!

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This blog was created to mark my personal growth and hopefully help others along the way by sharing the Common Grace that the Lord shares with me every day. The plan is to post at least once a week and hopefully no longer than a months absence. I pray that this will bless and help you, for all of the possible wisdom I can give comes from The Lord Above. 

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"That their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, to reach all the riches of full assurance of understanding and the knowledge of God's mystery, which is Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge."

~ Colossians 2:2-3 (ESV)